"The Strangest Christmas Eve's Eve"

The Strangest Christmas Eve's Eve

It’s 7:30pm and I am already in my bed. There’s no one here to talk to, except myself and my roommate’s cactus named Hugo. Today I awoke, drank some coffee and wrote a story, ran around the cold, trashy neighborhood, and made lunch. After lunch, I—Well, I’m not really sure. I read, I think. Then I watched my Rudolph the Red-nosed Reindeer film alone and laughed very hard at Yukon Cornelius whenever he licked his pickax. I had some cereal for dinner and a date (the fruit).

The fog is my only company, besides Jesus, but he’s busy getting ready to get born from a virgin’s womb. I’m packed already, for I am traveling to Ireland tomorrow to see my father. I am more lonely than I expected. I think about people with no family, no home. In the house next to mine, the burglar alarm has been going off since this morning. I called the University Security, who knocked on my door and told me they can do nothing since it is a privately owned house. They asked me if I had knocked on the house’s door…to do what? Get their attention? “Um, excuse me, your alarm is going off. I guess you didn’t hear it.”

I asked one of the officers what the number for the real police was.

He said, “It’s five five five five five. You can remember that, can’t you, Cowboy?”

“I’ll try,” I replied. They left, and though they mocked me for being a concerned American, I still appreciated the company. I changed socks twice, just for excitement. It is possible that I might have cut my hair this morning, though that could very well have been yesterday. Who can tell? I also tried dancing in my room since no one else is around. It was less than graceful.

There is so much bad news in the world. I watch sentimental Christmas movies and they mean something to me, they really do. And yet I have this weight, this burden of evil which passes through my mind like the steaming buses outside my front door. There goes another. People are hurting—so badly. And I remember why Christmas came in the first place. Salt on the wounds of a bleeding earth.

Who will stand up and say this world is not in need of something very big, very powerful? Who will do it? Go ahead, stand up. Who will continue to convince themselves that they can do this all on their own? Just make it through, comrade. Just live one more day, that’s all there is. Really. Really?

Really?

Or we can follow the star in the sky to the manger and give rich, gifts, fit for a king to a little baby. Think about the awesome humility of God. Just think about it for one minute. Trusting himself to the womb of a teenager sleeping in a stable. Listen to the incredible message in this miracle. God is in the loneliest, darkest, dirtiest places, on his way to redeem the world.

And I may be in a lonely, dark, dirty place right now, but this is right where he has placed me. “Merry Christmas Eve's Eve, Dylan.” I’m okay with that.

December 23, 2006

Welcome Mr. and Mrs. Ostini

I have the pleasure of hosting the infamous Mr. and Mrs. Ostini in my Sacramento house this week. We will be carrying on and cornholing all over this, God's favorite city. Look out Northern California!

You have Jury Duty

Note to self: You have Jury Duty Wednesday, January 23.

Dylan

1337

I wrote a History final this evening, in spite of the soft breeze and the unseasonal sound of crickets throbbing in the bushes outside my classroom. I entered the fluorescent lights, and I wrote the final.

Raise your hand if you have academic integrity. Raise your hand if you appreciate any part of the work your professors pour into your life. Raise your hand if you care...

I wrote for almost two hours tracing the level of freedom in the development of network technology.

My thesis: Though it would appear that with the development of network technology has come a steadily increasing level of freedom, I believe that in fact the contemporary Internet is less free than its early ancestors such as SAGE and ARPANET. However, the liberality of the technology itself does not necessarily coincide with the freedom of the user.

The Internet began as an entirely open technology. But somewhere along the way it became closed.

So there are the Open Source Movement dudes who bemoan this diminution of liberality. And there are the corporates who still claim that the technology is essentially "free."

But my architecture friend Ryan recently told me a maxim that has not left my mind: "Design comes from Constraint".

When an architect is asked to build a museum, he is essentially paralyzed unless some constraints are placed upon him. These include: climate, geography, population, historical setting, urbanity, etc. When once she determines these constraints, she can then design. Design comes from constraint.

The Law is Freedom?

Gravity literally makes the world go 'round, I think.

So in my Final I argue that though the technology itself is less free today than it was in its early stages, this diminution of liberality has actually benefited the average user. Network Technology cannot have its anarchistic cake and eat it too. If the universality of the Internet depends on the steepness of its learning curve, which itself depends on its illiberality, then the network architects must choose between these two ideals, or at least strike a balance.

As for me:

"For the love of Christ compels us, because we judge thus: that if One died for all, then all died; and He died for all, that those who live should live no longer for themselves, but for Him who died for them and rose again." 2 Corinthians 5:14

F.I.N.A.L.S.

Fun
Is
Not
Always
Literary
Speculation

Imlac on the Pyramids

"But for the pyramids, no reason has ever been given adequate to the cost and labor of the work. The narrowness of the chambers proves that it could afford no retreat from enemies, and treasures might have been reposited at far less expense with equal security. It seems to have been erected only in compliance with that hunger of imagination which preys incessantly upon life, and must be always appeased by some employment. Those who have already all that they can enjoy must enlarge their desires. He that has built for use till use is supplied, must begin to build for vanity, and extend his plan to the utmost power of human performance, that he may not be soon reduced to form another wish.

I consider this mighty structure as a monument of the insufficiency of human enjoyments. A king, whose power is unlimited, and whose treasure surmount all real and imaginary wants, is compelled to solace, by the erection of a pyramid, the satiety of dominion and tastelessness of pleasures, and to amuse the tediousness of declining life by seeing thousands laboring without end, and one stone, for no purpose, laid upon another.

Whoever thou art, that, not content with a moderate condition, imaginest happiness in royal magnificence, and dreamest that command or riches can feed the appetite of novelty with perpetual gratifications, survey the pyramids, and confess thy folly!"

- Samuel Johnson's Rasselas

The Difference Between Me and You

Is if I could count the sand
on a thousand seashores,
I still could not hold the scores
of music’s heart in my hand.

And if I could wake the sun
with one word from my mouth,
I still could not ask the clouds
to dance for a lonely someone.

And if I could feed sparrows
with bags of store-bought grain,
I still could not explain
their song through darkened windows.

And if I could trace the feet
of every human pace
I still could not name the place
where walking and dancing meet.

And if I could heal disease
with microwaves and knives,
I still could not save the life
taken by love’s reckless need.

But you can.

Sexy Cyborgs

For Donna Haraway, a cyborg is both “…a creature of social reality as well as a creature of fiction” (Haraway 191). But her vision for the former has been lost in the prolific deviation of the latter. As a creature of social reality, Haraway envisions the cyborg as a liberating cultural phenomenon which blurs the lines between human and machine. This line-blurring serves as an analog for the kind of ideological shift she envisions regarding other social and cultural boundaries, specifically those of gender . But as a creature of fiction, the cyborg has in many ways reinforced the opposite of her vision. In her essay “A Manifesto for Cyborgs: Science, Technology, and the Socialist Feminism in the 1980s”, Haraway claims that “…the boundary between science fiction and social reality is an optical illusion” (Haraway 191). Far from an optical illusion, the boundary between the representation of women in science fiction and social reality has become more defined, more deeply ingrained in American culture. In this paper I will investigate the rift between Donna Haraway’s optimistic prophecy of cyborg potential for feminist liberation and the sexist representation of women in science fiction media and popular culture.

Haraway shows that in the modern world, three crucial borders have been breached: that between human and animal, organism and machine, and physical and nonphysical (Haraway 193-5). She celebrates this border erasure as progress towards such an erasure of the borders between male and female gender stereotypes. Chela Sandoval adds that “…cyborg consciousness can be understood as the technological embodiment of a particular and specific form of oppositional consciousness,” (Sandoval 408). In other words, the modern cyborg era has ushered in a challenging of power structures and hierarchies. Haraway believes the cyborg has the power to deconstruct the phallogocentric idols that have towered over Western culture. But under the tyrannical shadow of popular culture, this potentiality is as yet unrealized. Instead, the cyborg has taken two deviant paths.

The first digression from Haraway’s hope for the cyborg is the “posthuman” isolation and dependence on technology. Haraway herself exposes the negative aspects surrounding the development of the cyborg in the technological workplace:

“…[M]any women’s lives have been structured around employment in electronics-dependent jobs and their intimate realities include serial heterosexual monogamy, negotiating child care, distance from extended kin or most other forms of traditional community, a high likelihood of loneliness and extreme economic vulnerability as they age” (Haraway 208).

Rather than being liberated by the example of the cyborg, women are often oppressed by these technologies. As technology develops, workers in the electronic sector become increasingly dependent on the machines. This leads to the threat of dehumanization which has existed since the early Industrial age. Although Haraway celebrates the blurring of the lines between human and machine, she also recognizes that the fusion between the two can sometimes be ugly.

The other great divergence is in the gendering of female cyborgs in science fiction and popular culture. This is the failed realization of Haraway’s cyborg potential on which I want to focus. Haraway shows that “Contemporary science fiction is full of cyborgs” (Haraway 191), but the role of the female cyborg is blatantly stereotyped. Haraway says, “[t]here is nothing about being ‘female’ that naturally binds women. There is not even such a state as ‘being’ female, itself a highly complex category constructed in contested sexual scientific discourses and other social practices” (Haraway 197). But this anti-essentialist philosophy is certainly not supported by the generalizations of the female cyborg in science fiction. The gendering of the female cyborg in science fiction consists in two common representations: she is sexy and seductive. There are prolific examples of this masculinist representation in many types of science fiction media, but predominantly in cinema and television.

In the 1982 Ridley Scott film, Blade Runner, the three main “replicant” (cyborg) female characters—Rachel, Pris, and Zhora—are portrayed as powerfully seductive. They are often scantily clad with heavy make-up. This theme appears in other films as well, such as the comedy, Austin Powers: International Man of Mystery in which a gang of killer “fembots” attacks the hero. In Terminator 3: Rise of the Machines, the antagonist T-X is played by model Kristianna Loken. Another example of this representation is in the 2004 film, The Stepford Wives, which is an adaptation of Ira Levin’s novel of the same name (Wikipedia).

In television, the pattern of the “sexy cyborg” continues. Ronald D. Moore’s modern reworking of Battlestar Galactica features several examples of this pattern. Supermodel Tricia Helfer plays the character, “Number 6” a blond, seductive member of the Humanoid Cylon race. Gene Roddenbury’s Star Trek: The Next Generation gives yet another instance of the gendering of the sexy female in the form of the character “Seven of Nine” played by Jeri Ryan (Wikipedia).

I find the names of several of these characters revealing as well. The names, “T-X”, “Number 6”, and “Seven of Nine” convey a sense of the dehumanization of the characters. If cyborgs are both cybernetic and organic, these names align the female characters much more with their cybernetic, rather than their organic, heritage.

Interestingly, the writers and creators of these media are almost exclusively male. As Anne Elliot says in Jane Austen’s Persuasion, “…the pen has been in their hands” (Austen 220), and the story told by these writers is a far cry from Haraway’s vision for the cyborg. In each of these examples the fusion of biological female with cybernetic technology consistently produces a sexually powerful, seductive, and manipulative female image. This is the allocation for female cyborg characters. Whether good or bad, heroine or villainess, these gendered qualities remain.

We are left with a rift between the social reality of female cyborgs in the electronic sector and the science fiction representation of female cyborgs in cinema and television. In American culture, this gap has become so entrenched that Haraway’s optimistic vision for their liberating potential seems unattainable. In 1989, at the time of Haraway’s “Manifesto”, there had already been plenty of the same gender representation in popular culture. However, it seems that her optimism for the cyborg transcends these sexist portrayals in cinema and television and that she values the erasure of the borders between human and machine over the side effect of masculinist representation of women in science fiction. She believes that “…there are also great riches for feminists in explicitly embracing the possibilities inherent in the breakdown of clean distinctions between organism and machine and similar distinctions structuring the Western self” (Haraway 216). For Haraway, these riches surpass the sexist stereotypes embedded in the culture of science fiction film and television.

I believe that the representation of women in science fiction is more dangerous than Haraway anticipates in her “Manifesto”. While the blurring of the lines between human and machine does serve as a powerful analog for the erasure of the boundary between male and female, the representation of women in science fiction has created a powerfully regressive force. In addition to the transgressed boundaries, the new technology of the cyborg has also produced a sexist cultural icon, exemplified by the aforementioned female characters. Instead of standing out as progressive emblems in popular culture, the cyborg often falls in line with the stereotypical gendering of women in the media, contributing to their already too prevalent sexist misrepresentation.

If Haraway’s optimism for the cyborg’s liberating potential is ever to be realized, her dream of a “…powerful infidel heteroglossia” (Haraway 223) must also consist in the subversion of gender roles in contemporary science fiction and popular culture. As Haraway says, “Cyborg writing is about the power to survive not on the basis of original innocence, but on the basis of seizing the tools to mark the world that marked them as other” (Haraway 217). In Marxist terms, the cyborg must take over the means of production—that is, in this case, the means of information.

Austen, Jane. Persuasion. London: Penguin Books, 2003.

Haraway, Donna. “A Manifesto for Cyborgs: Science, Technology, and the Socialist Feminism in the 1980s.” Feminism/Postmodernism. New York and London: Routledge, 1989. pp. 190-223.

Sandoval, Chela. “New Sciences: Cyborg Feminism and the Methodology of the Oppressed.”The Cyborg Handbook. Gray, Chris Hables, editor. New York: Routledge, 1995. pp. 407-421.

"Cyborgs in Fiction." Wikipedia. 2007. Wikimedia Foundation, Inc.. 1 Nov 2007 .

rat

the days are windy

I like windy days the best...

they make it seem like the world is going to end any minute.>

The Secret of the Great Pyramid

Of the seven wonders of the world, the Great Pyramid of Khufu is perhaps the most wonderful. For centuries it has been the source of countless investigations, mysteries, new age theories, and even astronomical discoveries. There is much myth surrounding this amazing establishment, and archaeologists and astronomers alike are baffled by its complexity and the methodology of its construction. In recent investigations, discoveries suggest the ancient Egyptians may have known much more about astronomy than we had previously believed.

Aside from all metaphysical speculations, the Great Pyramid remains one of the most brilliant structures in the world. Archaeologists still do not know how it was built. The pyramid is in Giza, about 16 kilometers from Cairo, and at 484.9 feet, it was the tallest structure in the world before the Eiffel Tower was built. It is comprised of over two million limestone slabs, each weighing upwards of two or three tons (Fernie).1

The first inquiry into the pyramid’s mystique took place in the ninth century when Al-mamun set out to discover the wealth rumored to be hidden inside the pyramid. The north entrance was so well hidden, Al-mamun and his men were forced to break in by shattering each limestone brick. They stumbled upon a fascinating aspect of the pyramid called the Descending Passage. This tunnel goes straight from the north entrance and slopes slightly downward underneath the pyramid (Fernie). The incredible thing about this tunnel is that it is almost exactly straight. Of course, this fact astonished Al-mamun even as it astonishes us today. How could the Egyptians, without modern tools, have constructed a tunnel with such perfection? This question was so puzzling, that in 1881, a surveyor named Flinders Petrie visited the pyramid to measure its exactness. Using the most modern tools of that time, Petrie discovered the greatest margin of error over the one hundred meter tunnel was a mere seven millimeters (Fernie). This level of perfection has sparked much interest for many astronomers. Some speculate that the Egyptians must have used unknown units of measurement to construct it. Others point to the stars. They note that if a person were to stand at the base of the tunnel and look towards the entrance, he or she would be looking out into the northern patch of the night sky. Currently, the pole star is Polaris, but as a result of what is known as “precession”, the Egyptians would have been looking at a different star entirely. This mystery still has not been solved.

Aside from the unique Descending Passage, astronomers have also been vexed by several other aspects of the Great Pyramid. A somewhat abstract example is the proportions of the pyramid. In the 1800’s, Astronomer Royal of Scotland, Charles Piazzi Smyth became intoxicated with this mystery. He discovered the ratio of the slant of the pyramid to be 10:9. He then took the height of the pyramid (484.9) and multiplied it by 10^9. This came out to be 91,840,000 miles, a number very close to the distance from the Earth to the Sun (Fernie). Many deem this purely coincidence, but Smyth was faithful in his belief that the product had much more significance. He believed that this meant the Egyptians must have known this distance.

Another example of the Egyptians’ curious knowledge of the heavens is the almost true perfection of the pyramid’s orientation along the sides. The east side of the pyramid lies only three arcminutes from the actual north-south line. Taking into consideration the immensity of the structure and the perfection of this measurement, it suffices to say the Egyptians must have had a good deal of knowledge about celestial poles. According to J. Donald Fernie, “This makes it virtually certain that some astronomical method was used to establish the local meridian” (Fernie). The Egyptians were brilliant enough to use this as a tool to orient the Great Pyramid.

It was noted that the orientation of the pyramids’ sides were slightly different for each. They were built over centuries of time, and astronomers believe that fact holds the key to the Egyptians’ methodology of orientation. In the year 2000, Egyptologist Kate Spence published a paper on her explanation for the pyramids. She said that the Egyptians used two stars to determine which way was north and then oriented the base of the pyramids using that point. She also “showed that the resulting orientation errors varied as a function of time—just as predicted by precession” (Fernie). Therefore, she argues the Egyptians used the stars in the sky to determine the location and direction of the most monumental construction in history.

Indeed the pyramids explain much about the Egyptians and their study of the universe. But more than that, they leave much more to be discovered and many questions to be answered. They are a source of mystery, even to this day. The more scientists learn about the Great Pyramid, the more they find they don’t know. But even with all the mystery and superstition surrounding, and perhaps polluting, the Great Pyramid, astronomers have discovered some concrete ideas about the studies of the Egyptians. First, scientists discovered the Descending Passage which led them to believe that the Egyptians may have used a polar star to build an almost perfectly straight tunnel. Later, Charles Piazzi Smythe discovered the ratio of the pyramids side was 10:9 and found a coincidence with the distance from the earth to the sun. Also, astronomers examined the orientation of the sides of the bases of the pyramids and discovered they must have used the celestial poles in their construction. These were all fascinating discoveries, but none entirely concrete. The mystery surrounding the “scientific” explanations has not net been dissolved.

It is interesting to think that the Egyptians, one of the most innovative civilizations in history, used the stars as guides in every aspect of their lives. Whether it was in the worship of deity, agriculture, or construction, astronomy played a central role in Egyptian society. The Great Pyramid is a perfect example of the ingenuity of the Egyptian civilization and will continue to puzzle astronomers for years to come.

1 This and all other information and quotations are taken from

Fernie, J. Donald. "Astronomy and the Great Pyramid." American

Scientist September 2004. 24 May 2005

.

"This Is Where I Live"

I stepped onto the tile checkerboard landing of my apartment, shielded from the changing wind by the cement archway above my head. I fumbled in my pocket, aware of several forming holes in the cloth, searching for my key. Instinctively, I looked over my shoulder and brought the key to its home in the green door. The glass window revealed darkened shapes and colors inside, indefinitely. I turned the key. Nothing happened. It fit in the slot, but didn’t turn. I narrowed my eyes a little, confused. I backed up two or three steps, craned my stiff neck and checked the number on the top of the gray wall. It read, 95 Cranbrook. This is where I live. I only have one house key, this makes no sense. The thin green door was the same, the checkerboard landing was the same. I tried the key again. Nothing. I looked over my shoulder once more. This is England, this is where I live. Frustrated, I turned and walked back onto the path. Along the row of apartments the yellow street lamps dimly lit patches of familiar ground. The number fifteen bus grumbled past, estranged faces peering through the dirty glass. They could tell I don’t belong here. But I couldn’t. This is where I live. As I walked down the street, I looked down at my black shoes—they had carried me this far. There is a dark brick hallway between every two or three apartments. I tried one of them, blocked by a tall, wooden door with a metal latch. It opened and I stepped into even greater darkness. The night was settling in to a windy sleep and I latched the bolt to keep it from making too much noise. In the windless hallway, I could hear my footsteps ring against the walls. The invisible ceiling came into light as I continued onto the cobblestone paths which run behind the apartments, the apartments where I live. I circled around to the back of number ninety-five, glancing through the branches of small trees bordering the parking lot. In the red brick inlet between ninety-five and ninety-three, I approached the back door. Again I reached for my key. The cold slowed my hands. I put the key into the keyhole of the apartment where I live. Once more, it entered, but hesitated. I pushed on the heavy door keeping me from the place where I live. This is strange. I knocked softly on the door. All of the lights were off in the kitchen and the dining room. I heard footsteps from within. I backed up from the door. I didn’t want to frighten my roommates. Out of the corner of my eye, a face and an inquisitive hand drew the curtain, and let it fall again. A few seconds later, the door opened slowly.

“Can I help you?” asked someone I had never seen before.

“I…is this ninety-five Cranbrook?” I asked.

“Yes,” she answered distrustfully.

“Oh. Right.”

“Is anything wrong?” she asked.

I didn’t know what to say. Yes something is wrong. This is where I live.

“Is Maxine home?”

“Maxine? I don’t know a Maxine.”

“Oh…okay.”

“Who are you?”

“I’m—" the wind picked up. I said a name, but neither of us heard it.

“Are you alright?” she asked, becoming noticeably frustrated.

“Yes, I think so. It’s just…I live here.” I said, looking at the dirty ground. This is my trash can. This is where I live.

“Sorry?” she asked.

I stepped backwards and looked at the window to my room in the apartment. This is the room where I live. I walked over to the large glass pane encased by the new, white painted wood. I peered inside. I recognized nothing. I have things. I have a bookshelf and a bed. There was nothing in the room.

“Can I help you?” asked the girl leaning hesitantly out from the warm kitchen. I didn’t answer. This is where I live. I turned back around to face her. The wind picked up a pile of leaves like a greedy child and threw them up into a swirl. The dust and the cold were uncomfortable. I want to go home, I want to go to my home. I walked back past the girl. She stared right at me as I passed her.

“This is ninety-five Cranbrook,” I said. “This is where I live.”

I looked at my brown shoes as I walked away from that apartment, across the cobblestone path, past the small trees, and into the empty parking lot. Rain began to fall lightly, playfully. I turned up my collar a little, bitterly cold but reluctant to the fashion. I glanced back at the crooked white numbers above the kitchen window in the back of my apartment. 95. This is where I live.

The rain was only visible in the beam of dull light falling from the tall lampposts. There was nobody in sight. “I’m—" The wind picked up again and silenced my name as it fell from my lips and landed next to my white shoes which rested cautiously on the swimming, pot-holed parking lot cement.

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Rice for children in need + Vocabulary Improvement = Brilliance

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"Ta Ta Tue"

Have you ever wondered what Robotic Science/Human Psychology Graduate students from Bangladesh sing about? Here are some pictures of my friend Al-Amin and I singing a traditional Bangoli children's song together. He taught me the lyrics and melody. A rough translation of the chorus: "Every day my heart is dancing. Who is dancing? -- Ta ta tue tue..."

"Ta Ta Tue" is the sound of the Tabla, an Eastern drum that is pretty Rock and Roll. Think of it as in the Little Drummer Boy's "Pa rum pa pum pum".

Al-Amin is currently doing research on human-robot symbiosis. So, if you want to be on the winning side of the Robot revolution, visit his Web Site and learn to your human heart's content.

He and I had several discussions about his work in Robotics. I delicately raised the question of Science Fiction's 's prophecies regarding the development of Artificial intelligence. "Will we be enslaved by Robots as they become smarter than us?"

No.

But why not? Al-Amin told me that Robots are machines governed by a program. For my technologically limited understanding, this was as far as I could go. But the fact that a robot acts only as commanded by its programmer made sense.

And that's why I decided that although Al-Amin serves fruit garnished with salt, he was a good friend. A good friend with a sweet voice and a Robotic dog that knows how I'm feeling.